At times we may find ourselves in a state of utter frustration with the course our lives are headed in. As such, some of us have a tendency to want to micro-manage every aspect of our lives and at times even to try to control forces outside of ourselves. Guess what though…this might actually end up being one of the worse things you could do to yourself. I’m going to touch on the second portion and then come back to the first portion of the given tendencies.
Right off the bat this needs to be said: You CANNOT control anything in this world, but yourself.
Okay, that being said I always feel like this statement needs to be broken down and clarified so as to be properly understood and appreciated. There are times when you can take steps to avoid undesirable situations. If you know that something isn’t a good idea you steer away from it and so on. However, that’s as far as you can go with it. There will be cases in which you find yourself in situations that are out of your control. In these instances you have to learn that while you may not control the situation you do have control over how you deal with the situation. Yet, again your reaction, something within you is what you can control, not the situation itself. Outside of this you cannot assert absolute control over any given situation and this most definitely applies to the people involved in the situation or around you. The faster that you realize this and accept it, the faster you will be on your way towards the right path.
Now to the first portion: the tendency to want to micro-manage.
Now although you have control over yourself and your reactions don’t let this become a reason to want go overboard and want to over think every step you take. Yes, you should be responsible and take steps towards what you want, but if you are in a bad situation and are trying to pull yourself out, analyzing your every little move may in fact make things worse. For one, the level of anxiety that doing this can create is more than enough reason, at least to me, to avoid this type of response. Some people will do this and start to feel closed in and fall deeper into feelings of despair which will only lead to more negative feelings. needless to say the last thing one needs in such a situation would be added negativity and stress. Stop. Take a breath. Look at where you’re at from a point of view outside of yourself. Sometimes doing something as simple as that allows you the bit of clarity you need to start heading in the right direction. In fact at times the best thing one can do is admit and come to terms with the fact something is out of our hands and then let go of our need to control everything.
Not everything can be forced to go as we’d like. This is a lesson I think we all need to be reminded of from time to time. That being said, the way you react to this fact will define how well things turn out when this occurs. Sometimes it takes giving up control to fully gain control…let go of control and then let things flow naturally, it may just surprise you.
Roz in Focus 